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[Feb. 19th, 2007|02:51 pm] |
Its been a while so here is an update.
I struggle every day to bring myself in to that horrible college and teach those horrible demons. I hate college, the material I have to teach, and most of the students. I don't think I'll accept a contract here again.
On the other hand, I love teaching at the University and am hoping to be hired to teach a Fantasy lit course there next semester.
Not much else is new. Looking for a house, planning a wedding, learning caligraphy, that type of stuff.
Gotta go mark papers now. |
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[Jan. 18th, 2007|06:43 am] |
Wow. I totally got bitched out by one of my students yesterday. I can't believe the egos and attitudes these students have at the College. I was lecturing and I kept hearing this one student talking, quietly, but talking none the less. This particular student has so far seemed very respectful of classroom etiquette, so I let it go for a while, but after 5 minutes I decided to correct the problem so I turned from the blackboard and simply asked the student "[students name], would you like to explain this to the class?", to which she replied "no, that's okay". I could tell she was surpised by the question and a little ticked off. I continued to teach the class and when the lecture was finished she came up to me and said "can I talk to you for a second" and then proceeded to "tell me off" for centering her out and embarassing her in front of the rest of the class! Okay, you're right, I never should have interrupted you while you were talking to your friend and disrupting my lecture - how silly of me to think i am the one who should be talking! She was pissed because apparently other students were being disruptive and i didnt correct them, so why did i pick on her. Well... in a class of 30 students I can't always see/hear what's going on at the back of the room, but she was sitting up front and i could definitly hear what she was doing. Furthermore, hasn't she ever been told to worry about herself and not other people? She was really in my face and I was totally shocked - clearly this student has emotional problems that prohibit her from accepting authority and taking responsibility for her actions. All I could say, in my totally dumbfounded state, was "i'm sorry you feel that way" - she was, after all, laying in to me in front of the entire class, i wasn't about to argue with her right there in front of the other students. I should have told her to take her complaint to the dean - imagine the scenario: "My professor centered me out for talking in class", "well, were you talking?", "yes, but..."
I just can't believe these students, where do they get off thinking the world owes them everything. I would never challenge my professor for correcting me for taking in class. I would just shut up and listen to the rest of the lecture. Now i'm going to be afraid to say anything to this student for the rest of the term, out of fear of her slashing my tires or something.
Judy - has anything like this ever happened to you?
I was so unnerved by it I could hardly sleep last night - i just kept replaying the situation over and over in my head... thinking of how I could have better reacted.
Anyway, I just need to get over it, I guess. Teaching a different group of students today so I don't need to think about.
badass |
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[Jan. 17th, 2007|06:33 am] |
My mind is so full of details of my courses, worrying about finding and affording a house, and planning my wedding. Ugh. What a yucky time. I wish one could wait, the house or the wedding, but really, Chris and I can't waste another year in this dump, and our engagement has gone on for far too long. Could we put it off another year? Is it okay to have a four year engagement? It really makes no difference to me, I'm not going anywhere and neither is he. Hmmm.... I'll have to consider this and discuss with Chris if this is an option. If we put the wedding off another year, we will be able to buy a house and furnish it much sooner. But I have already declared the date to everyone...
My class went well yesterday except half of the students didn't do the assigned readings. I need to think of a way to coerce them to do them. I'm thinking weekly quizes or journal responses. But is it fair to change the grading criteria two weeks into the semester? Judy - what do you think?
Teaching today and then a meeting this evening with the dog park association. The week is almost over - woohooo!
badass |
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[Jan. 15th, 2007|06:52 am] |
Mondays are going to be my insane days... teaching from 2:30 - 5:30, then office hours, then teaching from 4:30 to 7:30. I should have stayed in bed a little longer this morning. When I wake up at 5:30 am i am dead tired by my late afternoon classes.
Stayed in and planned lectures all weekend. Hopefully this wont be every weekend, but i was handed a new course on Thursday and had to have it planned and ready to go by today so that tied me up for Saturday and Sunday. I did manage to make time this weekend to watch The Illusionist, which was pretty good, and to chat with the wonderful Judy, a conversation that was not nearly long enough but I had to end it to go to Mom and Dad's for dinner.
We looked at a house on Friday. 2 acres just on the outskirts of town. The house was too small, however, and the two acres were full of the usual junk there rural people plant in their yards: run down cars, snowmachines, and other motorvehicle parts, old oil drums, swingsets, and scap metal. 4 out of 5 of these semi rural homes we look at appear to be previously owned by mechanics and judging by the way they keep their grounds (or rather, dont keep them) I can't help but wonder how much dirty oil and other toxic fluids have seeped into the water table. Though Chris loved the house (two large garages for him!) it was a definite no for me. 6 months of looking and still nothing. I feel a little afraid of committment when it comes to buying a house, maybe i'm being so picky because I'm not ready yet?!?
Alas, how can i think about buying a house and planning a wedding when I am broke and just starting a new career? Why are our 20s so cruel? |
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[Jan. 9th, 2007|07:08 am] |
College kids are assholes. They are loud, obnoxious, and disrespectful! Okay, maybe not all college students are this way, but my class certainly is.
I'm used to my university class. I walk in, they quiet down and listen. We speak with mutual respect for each other and I never have to talk over them.
Yesterday was my first time teaching a college class. They came in like a bunch of animals - loud and obnoxious. I started speaking and they didn't care. I have never had to raise my voice so many times in one class - especially not on the first day! I guess I'll have to be more of an assertive bitch with this group. Maybe its because they are all 18 year old boys - are boys that age still having raging hormones or something??? They are all trades students and none of them see any value in an English class. This is going to be an interesting semester. I'm positive it will make me a stronger teacher.
Teaching at AUC tonight and looking forward to the calm and mature demeanor of the university students. |
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[Jan. 5th, 2007|07:10 am] |
I realize that everyone's livejournal is much more exciting than mine. I've been perusing some friends of friends journals and they are so full of wit and helarious adventures, whereas mine is simply a boring list of events in my uneventful life. sorry everyone.
I wasn't always this stable, you know. I used to have crazy adventures, go to wild parties, take on life with reckless abandon. But one can't live like that forever, and if so, forever wouldn't be very long would it? 99% of the time i am happy with my quiet, stable, upstanding citizen type of life. just a little 1% envy creeps in every once in a while, a longing for past years of excess and calamity.
i am old. i am boring. i am disgustingly normal. my 15 year old self hates me. will my 50 year old self love me? one thing is certain, i will live to be 50 (unless something beyond my control happens), a few years ago i couldn't be sure of that. |
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| under the weather |
[Jan. 2nd, 2007|06:32 am] |
Its 6:30am and I am up and almost at em. Working on my syllabi today and preparing my first week of lecture notes. I still can't believe I am a College/University Instructor. Five years ago I was just this side of burnout.
Chris and I have some big goals for double-0-7. Buy a house. Save for a wedding. I have some smaller ones. Do yoga every day. Walk my dog every day. Keep a handwritten journal of the mundane.
New Years was a little lame because I was (am) sick. We ate and drank with Mom and Dad and let off fireworks at Midnight. All the scummies in the ghetto came outside to watch, some even got their kids out of bed. I slept in until 10:30 on New Years Day - Havent slept that late in years.
I cooked a prime rib roast yesterday. Chris said it was good, I couldnt taste it.
I have one week of holidays left before classes begin. Not really holidays though as I have lots of work to do. Still, at least I'm not stuck in that office anymore in that horrible building downtown.
best of luck to all in 0-0-7! |
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| make it stop! |
[Dec. 27th, 2006|09:49 am] |
Too much booze and rich food has taken its toll on my digestive system. I am a mess and my skin is all rashy.
Had a wonderful/interesting/shitty Christmas in Waterloo. Wonderful to see everyone and get roaring drunk, interesting to watch Chris smoke salvia for the first time, not knowing what it does (scarey!), and shitty to listen to my drunken mother-in-law and brother-in-law fight for three days straight. Its good to be back in the North (even though there is no snow).
Chris and I finally set a date! February 16th, 2008. Cheesy but our anniversary is Valentine's day and a winter wedding is cheeper (and we have no money). I am excited. Its going to be small, at my old church and community centre in Bar River, with our pictures being taken at the local outdoor rink next to the hall. We will all be wearing old fashioned skates (i hope theres snow/ice!). Now i just need to fill in all the details and find a dress....
Today I am cleaning/doing laundry/organizing my office. Tonight is a party at Mom and Dads house.
Still no plans for New Years.....
peace and love
Billi |
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| last day... New Years? |
[Dec. 21st, 2006|06:47 am] |
It is my last day of work for this internship. I now have two weeks of holidays before i start my full time teaching career at the College and the University. I'm looking forward to it but not looking forward to the isolation that comes with being a teacher. At least in this job i had a lot of projects that involved collaboration with other people and groups; when you teach its just you (and the class). I just dont want to get all caught up in my head again, like when I was in grad school.
Sault folks - what's going on for New Years? I want to do something, see a band perhaps? Lemme know.
Badass |
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| You're not going to believe this.... |
[Dec. 14th, 2006|10:30 am] |
3 jobs? Try 4! Yesterday the College hired me to teach another class! Technical writing. I can't believe my good fortune. However, there is no way in hell I can teach three courses in addition to working full time so I am oficially quitting my day job! Woohoo!!!!
Although i am exceedingly pleased with these new jobs, the stress of interviews and a heavy workload these past few weeks has taken its toll on me and i can no longer move my upper body without suffering excruciating pain. Why do i bottle my stress up until it attacks my body? And furthermore, how can i relieve stress rather than bottle it up? I feel stress, i admit it, and move on. Is there some other way I should be handling it? I know i havent been keeping up with my regular relaxation routines of yoga and meditation, i guess i should, i guess that stuff truly was working for me. Time to cut back the caffine again too, I guess.
Anyway, I took today off to try and let my muscle spasms heal, but all i can do is stress about my courses for next semester, so no i find myself up in my office pondering working on my syllabi, eventhough sitting up straight hurts like hell.
I'll work, just for an hour, then I'll take some muscle relaxants and rest. Deal.
badass |
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